


Skinny Love

by snowicat



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Forgive Me, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 09:34:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20758199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowicat/pseuds/snowicat
Summary: In which Seungyoun explains the two different meanings of "Skinny Love".





	Skinny Love

“Have you ever been in a relationship where you thought you’re in love but you’re just overwhelmed by the reactions and pressured by the people around you?”

It’s already their 5th year in the industry. Seungwoo just got himself discharged from the mandatory military training, and is getting ready for X1’s final comeback when Seungyoun, the ever so bright Cho Seungyoun, grabbed him by the arm; dragging him to the rooftop.

Two years of military service made Seungwoo miss his members, X1 and Victon. He can’t just act cute or be carefree around the others inside the camp. It’ll be embarrassing for him and for his service mates. Now that he’s out, he can finally feel the freedom he always dreamt of for years.

Seungwoo turned his gaze to the younger who’s excitedly clinging onto his arm. He noticed how the man became skinnier. Cheeks sunk, dark bags under his eyes, thin arms—being the leader must’ve done him shit for the past two years. He thought as he let himself get dragged towards the wooden table.

Placing the plastic bags filled with food and beer on the table, Seungyoun quickly turned to the older, arms wide open before throwing himself to him making Seungwoo stumble back. “I missed you so much, hyung!” Sure enough, Seungyoun’s crying already, knowing how much of a cry-baby the current leader is.

Wrapping an arm around the younger while the other rests at the back of Seungyoun’s head; carefully running his fingers through his hair. “You did well, Seungyounie.”

It’s not as if they’ve never talked one on one before, in fact, Seungyoun probably spends more time in Seungwoo’s room more than his boyfriend’s. Yes, the younger is indeed dating. He dated their member, Wooseok, months after they debuted. They kept it lowkey, which is good, but of course, not all secrets are to be kept forever. He found out, when he was in the military service that dispatch outed them. They received so much backlash but most people just shrug it off as media play.

“Are you drunk already?” He turned to the younger, checking if he’s still doing okay. Seungyoun’s known to get drunk after a few bottles, and they’re entering their fifth for the night. Despite the darkness of the night, Seungwoo can still see the redness of Seungyoun’s eyes from crying earlier but for some reason, he still finds him beautiful.

He watches the man shake his head “No”, eyes still sparkling, skin still glowing under the moonlight. Seungwoo took back his comment earlier because Seungyoun is not just beautiful, Seungyoun is ethereal.

“You’ll hurt your neck from that position, hyung. Just take a photo of me and stare at it.” He’s pretty sure Seungyoun’s laugh can be heard downstairs as he laughs at the older.

It was quiet when the younger brought up the question again, this time, Seungwoo decided to lay on the table while looking at the night sky. Beer and jackets keeping them warm. “Nope. I always make sure I love the person before going into a relationship.”

Seungyoun hums while looking straight in front. Seungwoo took this opportunity to study the younger’s face. He noticed how he chews on the inside of his cheeks as if he’s thinking of something deep. He saw how his lips formed a thin line, eyebrows furrowing before relaxing once again.

“How are you and Wooseok?” Seungwoo thought that it’s a good question to ask, considering he’s been gone for years, but looking at how the other tensed upon hearing the question, he regretted even opening his mouth.

“We broke up long before dispatch decided to out us, hyung.” The younger seems fine with how he handled the question. It seems like he didn’t care if they broke up, but something related to that is bothering him. Whether he’ll share it or not, it’s Seungyoun’s choice.

“We only dated because we were overwhelmed of the shipping thing. People kept on saying we look good together and stuff. Like we look—“

“—in love. Yeah, you guys do look sickly in love.” Seungwoo remembers everything like it just happened yesterday. How they both entered Seungwoo’s room, looking all shy. How they held hands in front of him, fingers intertwined. How they broke the news to the leader. How they asked for advice, and how it broke Seungwoo’s heart. Seungwoo, to say the least, was in love with Seungyoun.

“Do we really, hyung?” This time, Seungyoun turned to look at the older, face painted with curiosity. Seungwoo could only nod as a response, and Seungyoun, Seungyoun surprisingly sighed before looking back at the busy streets of Seoul.

Minutes passed and for some unknown reason, they were being wrapped with uncomfortable silence. Never had it happened before and it made Seungwoo think he did something wrong. Seungwoo decided to pull out his phone and play one of Seungyoun’s song recommendations.

Come on, skinny love, just last the year.  
Pour a little salt, we were never here.

Seungwoo remembered how Seungyoun explained to him what the song was about. Well, Seungwoo did his research about what people call as ‘skinny love’ but Seungyoun said it’s not the typical two people being shy to admit their feelings. The song is about a couple who’s in a relationship not because there’s love but they need each other.

“Hyung, you know what’s funny?” Seungwoo stayed silent urging the other to continue. “Skinny love has two different meanings, and I experienced both because of one person.” This time, Seungwoo can’t help but to be curious. Pushing himself up from the wooden table, he turned to look at the younger, sadness obviously written on his face.

“I don’t know why, maybe he’s scared? Shy? I kept on looking at him but he just doesn’t see me. He just won’t look back.” Seungyoun is smiling, and Seungwoo finds it painful to watch. He wanted to comfort the younger but he didn’t know what to say. “I mean it won’t take a genius to see that he likes me too.”

Everyone likes you. Even I do.

“Wooseok consoled me about it for months. He did everything he could to help me, to the point where the only thing we can do is fill each other’s needs.” Seungyoun probably realized what he just said and how wrong it is, so he quickly turned to the older, hands flailing as he tries to reason out; face reddening from embarrassment. “I mean not in a sexual way. He needed someone to make him feel he’s loved, and I needed someone to fill his part.”

Come on skinny love, what happened here.

Seungwoo, despite being the eldest, is naive. He doesn’t know how to deal with things such as love, and relationships. He doesn’t know how to give a proper response to the younger so he did the first thing that crossed his mind, cup the younger’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Seungyoun leaning into his touch.

“I understand.” No, he doesn’t. He wants to try and understand what had happened but it won’t seem to sink in his brain. All of those sleepless nights of thinking if he was actually played by the younger is crawling back to him. At some point, he thought Seungyoun likes him. He noticed how the other looks at him, the subtle glances, the lingering touch but Seungwoo watched the younger enough to brainwash himself that Seungyoun does it to everyone. He’s not special.

You’re not special. He thought that one night, so he decided to just let him be. It only made everything clearer when him and Wooseok announced that they’re dating.

“I’m probably stupid for not confessing to him.” Seungyoun mumbles, eyes closed as he relaxes under Seungwoo’s touch. “Do you think I should tell him, hyung?”

Hopeful eyes suddenly looking at him made Seungwoo’s heart beat faster. He finds it pathetic that after everything that happened, his heart still beats for the younger, but it’s painful. He wanted to say no but Seungyoun looks like he wants someone to tell him that it’s okay to do what he wants. He needs support right now after Seungwoo’s years of absence, so who is he to stop him.

Seungwoo nodded and to his surprise, Seungyoun leaned closer to his face; arms snaking around the back of his neck, face inches away from Seungwoo’s. He felt his breath hitch at the proximity. The younger’s warm breath hitting his face, nose touching. Seungwoo could only wish that Seungyoun can’t feel the rapid beating of his heart because the younger will most likely clown him.

“Dongpyo made me realize what I did wrong. It’s stupid of me to think that you’d be getting the signals I’ve been throwing you before you suddenly thought of enlisting.” Seungyoun pouted, and Seungwoo swore to the heavens the he felt the younger’s lips brushed his. If the other wasn’t feeling his heart beating before, he’s sure Seungyoun is now.

“It’s been hell without you, not because of the leader position but because before me and Wooseok made a pact, I told him that it’s okay, as long as I can see that you’re happy. Happily throwing yourselves to them and not me!” Seungyoun huffs and Seungwoo may have died inside at the cuteness. He wanted to interrupt the younger with his ‘confession’ and just kiss him but he’s living for this Seungyoun. “I realized what I did wrong when Dongpyo came bursting in my room, asking who do I really like because he’s confused. So I thought maybe, you’re not doing anything because you’re trying to save yourself from me.”

“I am.” Seungwoo can’t help but to blurt out, earning a tiny disappointed noise from Seungyoun. He wouldn’t have heard it but Seungyoun’s just too close. “See. It’s stupid because it was so easy to say that you feel the same. You’re like an open book when it comes to things that you don’t personally know.” It’s getting a bit dragging and Seungwoo’s running out of patience. He wanted to just engulf the younger in a warm hug, kiss him good mornings and good nights, and listen to the songs he recommends. “Can you please say it already?”

“Getting impatient now, are we?” Seungwoo lets out a frustrated groan as he circles his arms around the youngers middle, pulling his body closer to his.

“Han Seungwoo, I—“

“Hey! I heard Seungwoo hyung’s back!”

The pair instinctively pushed each other off, distancing themselves as the rooftop door bursts open. Ears heating up at the sudden intrusion, Seungwoo decided to clear his throat, plaster a smile and walk to the other members. Not forgetting to tell Seungyoun to meet him in his room after.

“Did we interrupt something?” Yohan asked as he watches Seungyoun gather all the cans and put it inside the waste bag.

“Told you we should’ve just welcome him tomorrow.” Wooseok whispered back as their original leader wrap them all into a warm hug.

“You’ve gotten bulkier. You’ll be able to manhandle Seungyoun hyung now.” Hangyul snickered while lifting Seungwoo’s shirt up. The others just nodded in response. Yohan and Wooseok laughing hysterically at the back as Seungyoun’s face turns into a deeper shade of red.

This will be a long night. Seungwoo thought as he pats Dongpyo’s back that has been crying ever since he made contact.

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble once again. Was bored while a meeting is on-going so i decided to write this. Also, the real meaning of the song. 
> 
> "you're in a relationship because you need help, but that's not necessarily why you should be in a relationship."
> 
> Thanks google. 
> 
> English is not my first language so forgive my grammar plz. 
> 
> feel free to scream at me on twitter: @younieswoo


End file.
